Friday funnies....

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Pudfark

Friday funnies....

Post by Pudfark »

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last
night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
part.·

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I
should have taken them off.·

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night or "foreplay" as
she likes to call it.·

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going
to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself,
I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Bugger it, soldier
on!"·

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last
night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.·

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her,
"Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"·

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now
you want me to stay??!!"·

A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace," said the
priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."·

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this
country so that they can see their own doctor.·

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look
like she's moving during sex.
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Reservoir_Dog
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Location: Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Reservoir_Dog »

Meanwhile in the Pudfark household .....

Pud: "You've been talking a lot about blowjobs lately. I get the feeling that you're trying to plant a seed in my head."
Ben: "I'd like to."
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Reservoir_Dog
Posts: 8858
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:46 pm
Location: Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Reservoir_Dog »

If you took all the cars in the world and lined them up end to end .....



..... some asshole from Texas would try to pass them!
Pudfark

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Pudfark »

:lol: Texans lead......Canadians follow. :lol:
Conga
Posts: 109
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:58 pm

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Conga »

Besides a little cut and paste- brilliant! ...?
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callmeslick
Posts: 16473
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:02 pm
Location: Fearing and loathing in Delaware and Virginia.

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by callmeslick »

you ain't seen nothing by way of cut and paste until you slog through Pud's crap, Conga.
Pudfark wrote: Mon May 29, 2017 11:15 am I live in Texas....you live in America.
Pudfark

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Pudfark »

:lol:
callmeslick wrote:you ain't seen nothing by way of cut and paste until you slog through Pud's crap, Conga.
Howdy Conga.....you can always take the 'magical mystery tour' through Slick's....lick & slobber....it's amusing at times. ;)
Conga
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Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:58 pm

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Conga »

I'll pass on both counts.

Does Chip have a pic page? You guys are too ugly.
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Reservoir_Dog
Posts: 8858
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2009 3:46 pm
Location: Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

Re: Friday funnies....

Post by Reservoir_Dog »

Q: What are the best 4 years of a Texan's life?
A: Third grade.
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