My 2017 NFL fearless predictions.
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:23 pm
NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys: 10-6. Every coach in the league has had 6 months to watch the tapes. Dak and Elliot won't be surprising anyone this year. And that defense is going to be terrible. I expect a sophomore slump. And Elliot sitting out 6 games sure ain't gonna help.
Washington Redskins: 10-6. Here's something I bet you didn't know ... Kirk Cousins was the #5 rated QB in the league last year in total QBR. And this is his "show me" year if he wants a monster contract. I'm going all-in.
New York Giants: 9-7. Last year I said that Eli Manning would regress ... and he did. 9 fewer TD's than in 2015, more INT's, and his total QBR rating dropped almost 10 points. The Giants have put some nice pieces into play and on paper they're a pretty good looking team. But Manning's regression will continue. Oh ... and the ground game is going to completely suck.
Philadelphia Eagles: 7-9. The D-line looks shaky at best. The secondary looks terrible. And I just don't see Carson Wentz putting up 35 or 40 points per game to make up for all the points that defense is going to give up.
NFC NORTH
Green Bay Packers: 13-3. Do I think the Packers are really a 13-3 team? No. But looking at the NFC North they'll be handed 6 wins on a silver platter. They start out with Atlanta and Seattle, that will be the test. But everyone is healthy so Rodgers has all his weapons. Martellus Bennett was a nice addition. The only real question here is will Ty Montgomery breakout?
Minnesota Vikings: 8-8. Terrible O-line. No running game. Sam Bradford. Enough said.
Detroit Lions: 8-8. I got off the Lions bandwagon last year and I'm not getting back on. It's maddening how much this team has underperformed in the Mathew Stafford era.
Chicago Bears: 3-13. It's sad how far this storied franchise has fallen. Worst front office in the league.
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta Falcons: 12-4. They didn't lose anyone of consequence in the off-season. They had a good draft. They went out and added Jack Crawford, Dontari Poe and Andre Roberts. This is a better team than the one that went to the Super Bowl last year. The big question is ... how much of it was Kyle Shannahan?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 10-6. Really, really good off-season. Lots of nice pieces in play here. They're going to throw up a lot of points. The RB depth chart looks a bit shaky, but these guys are going to be fun to watch.
New Orleans Saints: 8-8. It's nice to see the Saints not falling apart as they start to look past Drew Brees. Some nice razzle-dazzle in the off-season should keep them in a lot of games. Or should I say ... a lot of shootouts.
Carolina Panthers: 7-9. They've lost so many guys over the last two years, and Cam is coming off big time arm surgery. As Han Solo would say, "I've got a bad feeling about this".
NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks: 13-3. I'll just quote something I read because I couldn't say it any better than this. "The Seahawks get to play three of their four scheduled prime time games at home, where they don’t lose. They play games in the Eastern Time Zone just twice. There are no back-to-back road games. Pete Carroll couldn’t have drawn it up any more favorably". Now, let's see if that shaky O-line can keep Russell
Wilson on his feet.
Arizona Cardinals: 9-7. I hear they have a pretty good RB. Some kid named David Johnson. But just how long can Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald keep it going? Will they still have legs by week 14? Have they topped out?
Los Angeles Rams: 5-11. They picked up some good new coaches. Sean McVay has a good football mind. But this is still a fair-to-middling team. And Jared Goff doesn't scare anyone.
San Francisco 49ers: 2-14 There's just no talent here. They're a High School team getting paid pro money. I suppose they could win one against the Rams and perhaps win in Chicago. But then again, maybe not. They could just as easily go 0-16.
AFC EAST:
New England Patriots: 13-3. I had an alcohol induced hallucination that Tom Brady goes down with an injury this year and it turns out that Jimmy Garrappallappalolo isn't the second coming. Sounds legit.
Miami Dolphins: 7-9. The Dolphins are better than this, but they drew a brutal schedule. They got the AFC West and the NFC South. After their bye week they get the Patriots (twice), Denver and Kansas City. If the Dolphins are going to make the playoffs they'll need to win their first 10 games. They won't. (Jay Cutler? Are you fucking kidding me?)
Buffalo Bills: 4-12. A rookie head coach. A front office in turmoil. They get the AFC West and the NFC South. Rediculously stupid trades. Putting them at 4-12 may be a little generous on my part.
New York Jets: 1-15. As I type this the Jets QB depth chart reads Josh McCown, Christan Hackenberg, Bryce Petty. Their WR depth chart reads Eric Decker, Quincy Enunwa, Robbie Anderson. Their RB depth chart reads Matt Forte, Bilal Powell and some guy named Elijiah McGuire. (I'm serious. Stop laughing!) The good news is that they play the Browns this year. Maybe they'll win one. Maybe not.
AFC WEST:
Kansas City Chiefs: 12-4. Balance. Really nice balance. They'll score on offense. They'll score on defense. They'll score on special teams. Alex Smith is a really good game manager. He isn't flashy, but he doesn't make dumb mistakes. Andy Reid will have these guys clicking on all cylinders.
Oakland Raiders: 9-7. A good team on paper. But never trust a Quarterback in his first season coming back off a broken leg. It sticks in the back of their minds and they alter their play because of it. Especially a young Quarterback who's only been around for a few years. (RGIII anyone?) Oh, and that defense is going to be a sieve.
Denver Broncos: 9-7. The Broncos are probably better than this record. But I just have no faith in Trevor Siemain.
Los Angeles Chargers: 5-10. New city. Same team. They'll get into a lot of shootouts, but they'll lose most of them. It's a crying shame Philip Rivers will never win a Super Bowl.
AFC NORTH:
Pittsburgh Steelers: 12-4. I don't believe for one second that Le'Veon Bell will hold out into the regular season. The Steelers should have all their offensive weapons healthy and playing come week 1. And it should be quite a show. The Steelers are serious Super Bowl contenders.
Baltimore Ravens: 9-7. They lost soooooooooooo many guys. But then they went shopping on the open market and somehow managed to upgrade the team! Amazing.
Cincinnati Bengals: 8-8. Looking at their schedule they should go 4-1 before their bye week. It'll get pretty nasty after that.
Cleveland Browns: 2-14. This team just baffles me. They make some of the weirdest decisions I've ever seen in professional sports. (and yes, including the N.Y. Jets)
AFC SOUTH:
Tennessee Titans: 10-6. A team definitely on the rise. They'll probably go to a Super Bowl in the next few years. But as stated previously, never trust a Quarterback in his first season coming back off a broken leg.
Houston Texans: 9-7. This team would be going to Super Bowls if they had even an above average QB. But they don't. So they won't.
Indianapolis Colts: 7-9. Luck's health is sketchy. The defense is a sieve. Terrible draft moves. They'll play it safe and keep luck alive for next year. (pun intended)
Jacksonville Jaguars: 4-12. All those great high draft pics over the last 3 years and they're still stuck with Blake Bortles. Brutal.
NFC WILD CARDS: Washington Redskins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
AFC WILD CARDS: Denver Broncos, Baltimore Ravens
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Atlanta Falcons vs Green Bay Packers
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Pittsburgh Steelers vs Kansas City Chiefs
SUPER BOWL: Atlanta Falcons vs Pittsburgh Steelers
SUPER BOWL WINNER: Atlanta Falcons
Dallas Cowboys: 10-6. Every coach in the league has had 6 months to watch the tapes. Dak and Elliot won't be surprising anyone this year. And that defense is going to be terrible. I expect a sophomore slump. And Elliot sitting out 6 games sure ain't gonna help.
Washington Redskins: 10-6. Here's something I bet you didn't know ... Kirk Cousins was the #5 rated QB in the league last year in total QBR. And this is his "show me" year if he wants a monster contract. I'm going all-in.
New York Giants: 9-7. Last year I said that Eli Manning would regress ... and he did. 9 fewer TD's than in 2015, more INT's, and his total QBR rating dropped almost 10 points. The Giants have put some nice pieces into play and on paper they're a pretty good looking team. But Manning's regression will continue. Oh ... and the ground game is going to completely suck.
Philadelphia Eagles: 7-9. The D-line looks shaky at best. The secondary looks terrible. And I just don't see Carson Wentz putting up 35 or 40 points per game to make up for all the points that defense is going to give up.
NFC NORTH
Green Bay Packers: 13-3. Do I think the Packers are really a 13-3 team? No. But looking at the NFC North they'll be handed 6 wins on a silver platter. They start out with Atlanta and Seattle, that will be the test. But everyone is healthy so Rodgers has all his weapons. Martellus Bennett was a nice addition. The only real question here is will Ty Montgomery breakout?
Minnesota Vikings: 8-8. Terrible O-line. No running game. Sam Bradford. Enough said.
Detroit Lions: 8-8. I got off the Lions bandwagon last year and I'm not getting back on. It's maddening how much this team has underperformed in the Mathew Stafford era.
Chicago Bears: 3-13. It's sad how far this storied franchise has fallen. Worst front office in the league.
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta Falcons: 12-4. They didn't lose anyone of consequence in the off-season. They had a good draft. They went out and added Jack Crawford, Dontari Poe and Andre Roberts. This is a better team than the one that went to the Super Bowl last year. The big question is ... how much of it was Kyle Shannahan?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 10-6. Really, really good off-season. Lots of nice pieces in play here. They're going to throw up a lot of points. The RB depth chart looks a bit shaky, but these guys are going to be fun to watch.
New Orleans Saints: 8-8. It's nice to see the Saints not falling apart as they start to look past Drew Brees. Some nice razzle-dazzle in the off-season should keep them in a lot of games. Or should I say ... a lot of shootouts.
Carolina Panthers: 7-9. They've lost so many guys over the last two years, and Cam is coming off big time arm surgery. As Han Solo would say, "I've got a bad feeling about this".
NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks: 13-3. I'll just quote something I read because I couldn't say it any better than this. "The Seahawks get to play three of their four scheduled prime time games at home, where they don’t lose. They play games in the Eastern Time Zone just twice. There are no back-to-back road games. Pete Carroll couldn’t have drawn it up any more favorably". Now, let's see if that shaky O-line can keep Russell
Wilson on his feet.
Arizona Cardinals: 9-7. I hear they have a pretty good RB. Some kid named David Johnson. But just how long can Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald keep it going? Will they still have legs by week 14? Have they topped out?
Los Angeles Rams: 5-11. They picked up some good new coaches. Sean McVay has a good football mind. But this is still a fair-to-middling team. And Jared Goff doesn't scare anyone.
San Francisco 49ers: 2-14 There's just no talent here. They're a High School team getting paid pro money. I suppose they could win one against the Rams and perhaps win in Chicago. But then again, maybe not. They could just as easily go 0-16.
AFC EAST:
New England Patriots: 13-3. I had an alcohol induced hallucination that Tom Brady goes down with an injury this year and it turns out that Jimmy Garrappallappalolo isn't the second coming. Sounds legit.
Miami Dolphins: 7-9. The Dolphins are better than this, but they drew a brutal schedule. They got the AFC West and the NFC South. After their bye week they get the Patriots (twice), Denver and Kansas City. If the Dolphins are going to make the playoffs they'll need to win their first 10 games. They won't. (Jay Cutler? Are you fucking kidding me?)
Buffalo Bills: 4-12. A rookie head coach. A front office in turmoil. They get the AFC West and the NFC South. Rediculously stupid trades. Putting them at 4-12 may be a little generous on my part.
New York Jets: 1-15. As I type this the Jets QB depth chart reads Josh McCown, Christan Hackenberg, Bryce Petty. Their WR depth chart reads Eric Decker, Quincy Enunwa, Robbie Anderson. Their RB depth chart reads Matt Forte, Bilal Powell and some guy named Elijiah McGuire. (I'm serious. Stop laughing!) The good news is that they play the Browns this year. Maybe they'll win one. Maybe not.
AFC WEST:
Kansas City Chiefs: 12-4. Balance. Really nice balance. They'll score on offense. They'll score on defense. They'll score on special teams. Alex Smith is a really good game manager. He isn't flashy, but he doesn't make dumb mistakes. Andy Reid will have these guys clicking on all cylinders.
Oakland Raiders: 9-7. A good team on paper. But never trust a Quarterback in his first season coming back off a broken leg. It sticks in the back of their minds and they alter their play because of it. Especially a young Quarterback who's only been around for a few years. (RGIII anyone?) Oh, and that defense is going to be a sieve.
Denver Broncos: 9-7. The Broncos are probably better than this record. But I just have no faith in Trevor Siemain.
Los Angeles Chargers: 5-10. New city. Same team. They'll get into a lot of shootouts, but they'll lose most of them. It's a crying shame Philip Rivers will never win a Super Bowl.
AFC NORTH:
Pittsburgh Steelers: 12-4. I don't believe for one second that Le'Veon Bell will hold out into the regular season. The Steelers should have all their offensive weapons healthy and playing come week 1. And it should be quite a show. The Steelers are serious Super Bowl contenders.
Baltimore Ravens: 9-7. They lost soooooooooooo many guys. But then they went shopping on the open market and somehow managed to upgrade the team! Amazing.
Cincinnati Bengals: 8-8. Looking at their schedule they should go 4-1 before their bye week. It'll get pretty nasty after that.
Cleveland Browns: 2-14. This team just baffles me. They make some of the weirdest decisions I've ever seen in professional sports. (and yes, including the N.Y. Jets)
AFC SOUTH:
Tennessee Titans: 10-6. A team definitely on the rise. They'll probably go to a Super Bowl in the next few years. But as stated previously, never trust a Quarterback in his first season coming back off a broken leg.
Houston Texans: 9-7. This team would be going to Super Bowls if they had even an above average QB. But they don't. So they won't.
Indianapolis Colts: 7-9. Luck's health is sketchy. The defense is a sieve. Terrible draft moves. They'll play it safe and keep luck alive for next year. (pun intended)
Jacksonville Jaguars: 4-12. All those great high draft pics over the last 3 years and they're still stuck with Blake Bortles. Brutal.
NFC WILD CARDS: Washington Redskins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
AFC WILD CARDS: Denver Broncos, Baltimore Ravens
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Atlanta Falcons vs Green Bay Packers
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Pittsburgh Steelers vs Kansas City Chiefs
SUPER BOWL: Atlanta Falcons vs Pittsburgh Steelers
SUPER BOWL WINNER: Atlanta Falcons